Abhiyum Naanum ……To Dad with Love

After a long time I watched a tamil movie at leisure at home. Being in Mumbai am not able to watch any tamil movie in a cinema hall. As am a movie buff I would never want to miss any good movie especially in Tamil and when the subject is all about a Father-Daughter relationship. I have been trying hard to get a DVD of this movie from the day my sister called from Singapore at 12.30 in the night, to cry to my dad, after watching that movie. Finally when my friend’s father-in-law went to Chennai recently he got a DVD of the movie. And today I spent my Saturday afternoon watching one great movie in Tamil.

I don’t know from the beginning of the movie how many times I would have paused in between to tell my friend, who was watching this movie with me, about a similar incident that happened between my father and me or my sister. Am sure she would have got fed up. Initially I was laughing thinking of those sweet memories and after sometime I could not stop tears rolling down my cheeks. I was feeling horrible as I was not sure whether I had told my Dad till date what he means to me and he is no doubt the “World’s Best Dad”.

Where do I start about my Daddy? All those days he has been a driver to me picking and dropping me to school and college(even when I was doing my Post Graduation), all those evenings as a kid, when I got back from school and was upset as I didn’t get anything interesting to eat, he rushed me to a nearby hotel for my favourite ghee roast and sambhar in spite of mom’s non acceptance, an evening when he was almost in tears as he got delayed to pick me up from school and couldn’t find me waiting for him, the slap he gave my little sister as I cried “appa” when she bit me with love, many a times signing my progress card when I used to sneak it to him when mom was not around, years of freedom to be myself, trusting me all along and never controlled any of my steps in my life in spite of many comments in a small city like madurai.

One small incident, that he was so friendly even with my friends, girls and boys. I remember as a farewell dinner all my PG classmates came home and after having a sumptuous dinner cooked by my mom the boys who smoke got a surprise gift from my dad. He got them a pack of high quality cigarettes and let them smoke on our terrace. These guys were so surprised to see such a Cool Dad those days.

He made me trust myself and learn from my own mistakes. All along all he used to tell me is “Be a Roman in Rome”, never he raised a voice at me in all these 32 years of my life, never said No to me directly for anything I wanted. But still when I want something I never go to him to ask anything as I was scared of a No from him directly and also never want him to feel that stress of saying no to me. I was ready to hear it thru my mom which used to bug her a lot. But he still never said No.

Even when my folks were trying to get me married and when my husband, then a prospective match was arranged to meet me and we took 3 months to decide whether we should go ahead, and when all my relatives and friends were forcing me and putting pressure on me to decide my dad never said a word. That was his patience and thanks to my dad I found a patient husband like him. I don’t remember how much I cried on the day of my wedding, thou I keep crying every time I watch a movie or something on TV where a girl is getting married and bidding her dad farewell. I always feel I have not done my duty enough for my parents especially for the kind of parents they have been, though they often tell me now that I make them proud by being a good wife and a daughter-in-law. There have been days even now that I wake up early and sms my dad as am sure he is awake and he replies promptly telling how much he wants to be with me. Even today when I called him after watching this movie all he said is “Those days were different. Then you were a kid, but now you have one. That’s life”. That is my Dad. He is so dutiful. Does what he has to, never expects anything from anyone. Even today he refuses to come and be with me or my sister and says he prefers to stay there and earn so that he can spend enough on us when we go there with our kids for our holidays.

As a teenage girl I used to tell my mom that it is easy that I get a man who is a good father but not a great husband like my dad was to her. But I take back my words. I have a got a husband who may be is better than what my dad was to my mom, but he cannot even get close to what my dad was to me, to our son.

Women’s Day

I really have no idea who started this Women’s Day-a man or a woman. Forget whoever found this but for all those who celebrate it especially in India; I want all you women out there to take few minutes and think whether it is a real celebration.

And men folks am not a feminist. Am not telling men and women are equal. I agree, I understand and I accept this is a Man’s world. So all you men don’t feel upset that we women have special day like this. I tell you in this country only one day is for women but the rest are all Men’s. So cheer up and pamper your women at least once a year.

I agree in India women have come a long way but can we assure that we are 100% free of female infanticide or child marriage. There is this serial Balika Vadhu in Colors Channel. My husband keeps teasing me of how emotional I get with the characters in that. It’s not a regular Soap but one which shows us the state of women in remote places of India even in this century, that too in a very rich family. It’s all about child marriage and how women in that society are treated especially by fellow women, just because they were treated those way years back. It’s not only in this serial but it’s their in many middle class houses in this country. I agree there are lot of women who are supposed to be celebrated; all the mothers in the world are to be appreciated, but let us leave that for the Mother’s Day! Women’s day is largely to celebrate womanhood and I don’t see enough reasons as a community. One in a thousand women could have made it where they want in this country. But the rest……All those middle class women who slog in the office, get back home and also slog in the house to take care of the needs of her husband, kids, in-laws. But the men get back to home either to read the newspaper that they did not complete in the morning or watch the news channels all playing the same. The day the husbands of every working women in the country share all the household responsibility with their wives I believe womanhood is celebrated in this country. The day all the mothers-in-law of the country start treating their working daughters-in-law the same way they treat their sons and their own daughters, I will accept celebrations for womanhood. I know a friend of mine who was sharing with me an incident. When she gets back from office with her husband as tired as him or even much more, she enters the home to see the way her husband is offered water and pampered by his mother, but she has to get back to her routine household chores. She doesn’t have her mother living with her and hence she has no right to get pampered. The day a woman’s parents can live with her daughter with the same liberty as the man’s and with no guilt I will accept this celebration, rather I will celebrate for men too. A woman who is handling the kitchen makes dishes that are relished by her husband and her kids, never for herself and am one of them. Compromise is there in every walk of a woman’s life. Am not saying men don’t compromise but for women it’s a part and parcel of life.

I believe that women are this way not cos of any biological nature but cos of cultural conditioning that is so deeply ingrained that it often looks like a gender-specific chromosomal trait rather than a product of a biased nurture.

A journey to Fantasy Land

As a kid I was as an avid reader of Fairy Tales but I’ve never experienced a journey into the fantasy land till today. The first time ever, I was flown in the magic carpet of Aladdin into the world of Fantasy by around 100 kids in the age group of 2-5. These were the tiny Tots of Kangaroo Kids, Malad, Mumbai, of which one is my son too. Though these were the stories I would have literally known by heart when I was young and still continue reading night over night (Bed Time Stories) I never enjoyed and understood them as I did today.

Well coming back to the show, before I entered the hall, though I knew my son is dancing as a Hawaiian for a bollywood hit song, I was not told about the theme and backdrop. The teachers were wanting to give a surprise to the parents and it was no doubt a pleasant surprise. Well it was a very well detailed show that when we entered the hall we were all given whistles, read again, Whistles to blow to cheer up the kids. I remember when I had my school annual day celebrations some of the guys used to whistle when girls dance and they were punished if caught. But today, this school got me thrilled and I used the whistle to the maximum.

As I mentioned, Aladdin flew me into a Whole New World of Fantasy where Simba, The Lion King, reminded the meaning of “Haku Na Matata” and it was magic 3 hours where in there were no worries and no tension. Later came all the animals of the Under Water World with the Little Mermaid dancing for quite a few English songs. I need to say here that these kids were just between 2 and 3 years old and though most of the time on the stage they hardly danced or moved they looked so cute and enjoyable. There was one tiny little girl who was busy picking her nose and forgot to move of the stage even after her song got over. That’s what we call Innocence. Later the beautiful mermaid and her dear Prince rocked in a beach party with a group of Hawaiians for a Hindi Medley. Then came our Jungle boy Mowgli with his friends dancing for the title song of “Friends” and also having a medley with Tarzan and Jane. I remember when I was in primary school we as a class were taken to watch this movie at least 3 times but never did I enjoy so much as I did today. Finally came one of my favourite story “Cinderella” which was presented as a musical. There wasn’t just one Cinderella but two of them who interchanged places according to their attire. Wow! Believe me this was done so gracefully by some 4 year old kids. And the way the prince did Ballroom dancing with her, not a second we felt bored or tired of clapping and whistling. I heard from another parent later that this Prince had fewer practises than the others as he was finalised much later than the others. Hats Off to all such young talent in our country. Then we had the fantasyland medley with all the cartoon characters dancing for different tunes. Name them everyone were there- Noddy with his red cap dancing for “Tirchi Toppy Wale”, Snow White with her Seven Dwarfs, Nemo, Mickey and Minnie, Barbie and all our Superheroes from Spiderman, to Power puff girls to Drona. Then there was a fashion show by these young show stoppers. What attitude Man! Finally as a Grand Finale the kids were spread all around the auditorium and the parents could not resist getting up from their seats to shake a booty. Last but not the least they did remember to salute the national flag and appreciate the Oscar Winner by presenting a “Jai Ho” Medley.

Through these stories the kids brought to us the Universal Human Emotions like Love, Hate, Courage, Kindness and Cruelty and once again confirmed that Hope and Love Wins over Fear and Hate. I just hope and pray that they remember this all through their life and teach their elders the right lessons.

It was worth every second and every penny! (Earlier all we parents cribbed about the school collecting money from the parents for tickets to this show)